Bittersweet Symphony
by RuinMyLife
Summary: AU- Set in the future. Life's never what you expected it would be. Naomi and Emily are struggling to find their way to each other, but it's never that easy, is it?
1. Chapter 1

**Yo! I know I haven't updated Half Asleep in ages now. To be honest, I'm having a case of major writer's block so I decided to start a story I've had in my head for quite a while in order to maybe get me past that.**

**I hope you're not too mad at me and that you'll try this story. **

**HA should return eventually with new chapters though.**

**I don't own Skins. But it sure owns me. At least Naomily does.**

Naomi Campbell never thought she'd get there.

Never even thought there was a slight possibility for it to happen.

And yet here she is, sitting at this large table, so large indeed it seems to deepen the already huge canyon that separates Naomi and her wife. Well, soon to be _ex_-wife.

They tried to fix it, to reach for each other again like they did so many times before, to overcome the ever growing distance between them.

Today is the ultimate proof they failed.

And Naomi can't believe it. Can't truly start to process it.

Next to her, the tall, brunette woman, her lawyer, Barbara Preston, clears her throat, effectively snapping Naomi out of her thoughts.

"So, shall we proceed?"

"Yes, we're ready." The chubby man sitting across from her answers. Her wife's lawyer. Well, soon to be _ex _-wife Naomi has to remind herself again.

"We've already discussed every important detail concerning how you'll split things like the two cars, your house and its mortgage, your joined bank accounts..." Barbara enumerates, while going through a thin pile of documents. Our whole life together can be hold in twenty pages, Naomi thinks. She feels incredibly sad.

"What's really left to do is to sign the paper and, well, it'll be official." Barbara adds, pushing one file towards Naomi and one to the other woman sitting in front of her.

Their eyes lock for a split second and Naomi can't help but get lost in the stunningly beautiful eyes of the woman she loved for eighteen years. They always had had this effect on her. As if the world around them was fading, creating a safe, intimate bubble. Naomi can't recall all the times throughout the years she fell asleep looking at those eyes.

She'll never do anymore.

And like that, the sadness she felt moments ago is replaced by angriness. A bitter, hurtful one.

It only increases when she realizes the woman in front of her is silently crying, looking at her with pleading, guilt-ridden eyes. Naomi can't help but blame everything that's happening between them, all this fucking divorce craziness, on her wife. Knows deep down she had a part to play in it too though.

Naomi lowers her gaze on the document in front of her, hating how those fucking eyes can still stir something deep inside of her, and grabs the pen her lawyer is offering her.

She hears a loud sniffle in front of her but doesn't look back up. Doesn't know if she actually could.

She tries to read the tiny black writings on the page but finds her vision's clouded. Kind of when you get up too fast and get a head rush. Except now, it's more of a life rush. It's just too much, too fucking much for her to handle.

So without thinking, Naomi signs the numerous places where her lawyer put little "X" and gives the files back rapidly, almost as if she would get burned if she touched them for too long. Knows it wouldn't matter anyway because this, this whole situation, it practically combusted her.

Naomi chances a look at her wife and sees she also gave back the files to her lawyer and is now looking at her shaking hands that are resting on the table.

Barbara clears her throat again, putting the documents back in her brown leather briefcase.

"I'll send both copies of these as soon as possible." She gets up and Naomi does the same. Her legs are feeling weak. "Have a nice day." Barbara adds politely, shaking hands with the chubby lawyer. Naomi can't bring herself to look up from the floor so she merely nods and swiftly heads towards the exit. Doesn't miss the loud, gut-wrenching sob that echoes behind her when she shuts the door.

Naomi feels her eyes welling up as she makes her way to the elevator. She doesn't wait for Barbara because she knows she'll see her anyway on Monday. They work for the same lawyer's cabinet after all.

The music in the elevator painfully contrasts with how Naomi's feeling. It's drab and plain while all Naomi can feel is a whirlwind of emotions. It's overwhelming and she finds herself struggling to breathe as the doors finally open, giving her the possibility to practically run towards the exit of the building.

Outside, the day is bright. People are pushing past Naomi as she stands on the sidewalk, dumbly staring ahead of her. She never expected she'd feel _that_ empty.

Out of habit, she turns right and starts to make her way towards Effy's flat. Needs someone to remind her why in hell she decided to do what she did only minutes ago.

When she arrives in front of the familiar red door, it instantly opens to reveal a concerned looking Effy.

Naomi gives her a small smile, or what she hopes looked like a smile of some sort, and enters the flat, aiming for the comfy couch in the living room.

Effy follows her and sits at her side. She doesn't touch Naomi, knows how her best friend hates to be comforted with meaningless gestures or words.

"How do you feel?" Effy finally decides to ask after a few minutes of silence where Naomi put her head in her hands.

She hears Naomi sigh before she brings her head up. Effy has never seen her eyes so broken before.

"I feel like I just lost a part of me."

"Naomi, we talked about it. You thought it was the best way to go after what happened between you and her. You knew it would be hard but now you just have to stick to your decision."

"I know Eff, it's just..." Naomi runs a hand through her blonde locks, slightly bringing her head back to stop the tears from falling.

"I know Naoms. I know."

Naomi feels a cold hand being softly placed on her thigh as Effy scoots a bit closer to her.

"What are you going to tell the girls?" She asks carefully, not knowing if Naomi's strong enough to even be talking about this.

"Fuck. I have no idea. They know something's wrong though. Have for weeks actually. They're not stupid."

"You'll deal it when you'll have to." Effy answers, grabbing Naomi's pale hand. "Do you want to sleep here tonight?"

Naomi tries to smile again. Knows she failed as miserably as before. "Ok, thanks a lot Effy."

"No problem babe." Effy gets up and drops a light kiss on Naomi's forehead. "I'll go make us a good cup of tea."

Later that night, when Naomi's curled up with her knees hugged tightly against her chest, she hears Effy and Katie's easy banter in the kitchen. She hears them giggling, even thinks she can hear them kiss. Knows they've been tiptoeing around her all evening as if she was some fragile thing. Also knows she _is_ a fragile thing right now.

But that's when she hears them exchange I love you's that something snaps inside of Naomi.

She starts to sob.

Ugly, noisy, breathless sobs that break her body as if she's being crashed repeatedly against a wall of bricks.

She sobs because that, what Effy and Katie have, the _intimacy_ that comes from being in a relationship, that's what she'll miss the most. She'll miss the way you come to just know the other person throughout the years and how this person also comes to know, to fully get you. How you become this person's other half; how you complete each other in such a perfect way it can be bloody scary at times.

So Naomi sobs, doesn't even bother to wipe her nose or to quiet down the whimpering noises escaping her throat.

She doesn't know how long it's been but she suddenly feels a warm body slipping under the covers beside her.

Naomi opens her eyes to meet Effy's blue ones.

"God, Naomi..." Effy trails off, wrapping her arm around Naomi's waist and pulling her closer.

Naomi tries to answer, tell her she's fine really, but the words die in her throat and instead, she lets out another muffled sob.

"I thought we were forever Eff, I really did..."

Effy sighs and nods, kissing the top of Naomi's head. Truth be told, she did too.

Eventually, Naomi calms down, comforted a bit by the arms currently wrapped around her.

But they're not _her_ arms.

The tiny, strong arms of her wife. Naomi exhales shakily. Well, e_x-_wife now.

Emily Fitch.

**Hope it was somehow enjoyable. Maybe a bit cryptic but you'll get more details in the next chapters.**

**Review if you feel it's worth it!**


	2. Cheese and Lobster

**Hey guys! I'm really glad and flattered that you seem to have an interest in this. THANKS A LOT! I know the beginning was kinda sad (ok, super sad). This fic is actually not supposed to be the happiest one but obviously, they'll be fluff here and there. I just hope you'll enjoy the ride!**

**We go back now two months ago and the next chapters will show the events that led to the divorce.**

**I don't own Skins. Or a car.**

**2 months ago**

Naomi parks her car in front of her house.

She always loved this house.

Emily made her visit what felt like a thousand different ones all over Bristol before they finally settled on this particular one. A cute, white house with blue shutters and a large garden behind because that was one of Emily's principal requests.

This house has witnessed pretty much all of the important moments in their lives; it holds the best memories of Naomi's life, all of them somehow related to Emily in one way or another.

Naomi steps out of her car and, grabbing her briefcase from the passenger seat, she quickly checks her watch.

"Fuck." She mumbles, climbing the few steps that lead to the blue front door. Like it has been for the past few months, she's late for dinner.

"I'm home!" Naomi shouts, taking off her coat and her shoes along with her jacket.

"Mom!"

Instantly, a small girl with brown hair comes running out of the kitchen, spaghetti sauce all around her mouth and jumps in Naomi's open arms. She's getting a bit too big for that but Naomi couldn't give a shit, even though Emily keeps telling her she'll hurt her back one day.

"Hello big girl!" She gives Naomi a kiss on the mouth before wrapping her arms around her neck.

"You're late again mom! You almost missed mummy's famous spaghetti."

It's something they had established when Julia, their first child, was born. Naomi would be mom, Emily would be mummy. This way, no confusion.

"I'm sorry Jools." Naomi answers, smoothing down the messy hair of her seven years-old. "But I'm here now so let's eat!"

When Naomi enters the kitchen, she instantly meets the eyes of Emily. They're holding _this_ look. The look that Naomi has become familiar with in the last months. A look that tells her Emily's quite fed up with her perpetual late working hours but that also holds, deep down, all the love they've been sharing for eighteen years. Well, officially eighteen years but you could say twenty-two considering the fact Naomi has been in love with Emily since she was twelve.

Ignoring the reproaches in Emily's eyes, Naomi puts Julia down on her chair and then moves to give a kiss to her five years-old sister.

"Hey Izzie! How are you darling?" She asks, heading to the microwave where she knows Emily keeps her plate before she arrives.

"I'm fine mom." Isabel is a really quiet and shy little girl and since she started school, Naomi knows Emily has been worried she would be struggling to make friends.

When Naomi finally sits down in front of Emily, she makes her infamous pout, hoping it'll do its work. Knows Emily has never been able to resist it. Also knows pouting won't be solving anything in the long term but tonight, it's all she has.

With a sigh of relief, Naomi sees Emily's lips twitching in a small smile and knows that, for now at least, she's off the hook.

"So, how was your day hun?" Emily asks, sipping her glass of wine.

"You know, the usual. Shitload, uh, sorry, lots of work, spoiled clients who think their money will make them win instantly, a grumpy boss." Naomi brings a fork full of spaghetti to her mouth. Emily's sauce is truly the best. "How about you?"

"Oh well." Emily's face lights up and Naomi smiles softly. She loves to see her wife so passionate about her work even after all these years. "You know I was very nervous about the class I would be giving on Picasso's early work and-"

Naomi's phone's loud beeping interrupts Emily mid-sentence and Naomi knows the timing couldn't have been worst. Emily's brown eyes are instantly clouded with bitter angriness. Another look Naomi has become familiar with.

Nonetheless, Naomi swiftly gets up. Realizes it might piss her wife even more but also knows her big promotion is maybe just this phone call away.

"It'll take a minute." She mutters, exiting the kitchen to go get her phone in her bag.

In the end, the phone call is important and Naomi watches the minutes fly by out of her control before she finally hangs up, thirty minutes later.

When she comes back in the kitchen, with the decency of plastering a sheepish look on her face, the girls are already upstairs, probably playing in their rooms, and Emily's washing the dishes, her back turned on Naomi.

"You have a strange definition of 'only a minute' Naomi." Emily's cold voice startles her.

"It was important Emily. I had to take it." Naomi replies immediately, almost as if they were rehearsing an old play. Realizes it's almost the case actually.

"Of course." Emily scoffs, disbelievingly. Naomi cringes a bit. She hates that bitterness in Emily's voice; it doesn't suit her. "Probably more important than your family."

Naomi takes a few steps towards Emily who's still facing away from her, now leaning with both arms on either side of the sink, her head bowed.

"It's unfair Emily. You know you're the most important things in my life. It's been a few hectic months, I admit it, but just give me two more weeks, three at top, and I assure you everything will go back to normal."

Naomi's now standing right behind Emily. She can smell her perfume and her eyes close for a brief second. She loves the smell of Emily, always had. It smells like home.

Emily turns around slowly, finally meeting Naomi's eyes.

"Promise?" Her brown eyes are holding a vulnerability Naomi has never seen there before.

"I promise."

Emily smiles and, carefully, wraps her arms around Naomi's waist and buries her head in Naomi's shoulder. Content, Naomi curls her arms around her wife's petite frame. Knows it's where she'll always belong.

They stay like that for a moment before Emily pulls away, craning her neck to give Naomi a chaste kiss on the lips.

"You look knackered Naoms. I think you need a bath." Emily adds, a mischievous twinkle in her brown eyes.

"That's just a way to see me naked Fitch, I know you."

At that, Emily only gives her a bright smile and she grabs Naomi's hand, leading her upstairs.

While Naomi's putting the girls to bed, Emily's preparing the bath, with lots of bubble and scented salts, just like she knows Naomi likes it. Worries about her as she's stripping out of her clothes because she knows Naomi. Knows that she might pretend to be strong but also that she won't be able to keep up those insane working hours any longer.

When Naomi arrives in the bathroom, Emily's already in the water, her back resting at the far end of the bath. She has her rich brown hair in a messy bun, some of the lose strands sticking to the side of her neck where the skin is wet. Naomi thinks she's the most beautiful woman she has ever seen.

She starts to take off her clothes and isn't surprised to catch Emily's dark eyes on her as she discards her bra on the floor. Smiles because even though they don't make love as much as they used to, Emily's still a hopeless horny teenager. Smiles even wider because she still has that effect on Emily, and Emily's body certainly still has _that_ effect on her.

"Come here babe." Emily purrs, patting the space between her legs.

Naomi carefully gets in the bath. The water's just perfect.

She positions herself between Emily's legs and leans her back on Emily's chest. Loves the feeling of Emily's breasts on her naked skin.

Slowly, Emily slides her hands down Naomi's arms and intertwines their fingers together, bringing their hands so that they're resting on Naomi's stomach. Emily knows it always helps Naomi to relax, to let go a bit. Even though she's angry at Naomi for not taking time for her family, she's also very aware of how much pressure Naomi has at work.

Naomi sighs contently, closing her eyes. Emily's arms have always been the only place where she has ever allowed herself to let her guards down. Still is.

"I miss you." Emily whispers in her ear after a few moments of silence.

"I know Ems. I miss you too." Naomi rubs her thumbs against Emily's soft hands. Knows how much her wife needs to be reassured these days.

"I don't want you to think I don't understand how important your work is. I really do Naoms, and you know I'll support you no matter what. It's just..." Emily sighs, visibly searching for the best way to present what she wants to say. "It's just that you seem to forget that other around you have a life too. Me, the girls, Effy and Katie... I just think you shouldn't forget to make rooms for the other things that count in your life. Apart from work that is."

Emily's words hit her hard. She never realized she seemed that selfish and how much it was affecting Emily. Knows that hurting Emily is always the last thing she wants.

"Fuck Emily, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you feel that way." Naomi feels like she's about to cry. Doesn't really know why though.

Emily lightly kisses the side of her neck. "Now you know." Her voice is soft, no traces of the previous angriness. She just needs to let Naomi know how she feels, to give Naomi a chance to change.

After that, they stay silent. A comfortable, intimate silence.

Emily's gently rubbing a wet towel over Naomi's arms and stomach and when she feels Naomi's about to fall asleep, she gently shakes her.

"Come on baby, let's go to bed."

When they're out of the warm water of the bath, Emily shivers slightly and Naomi wraps them both in a fluffy towel, their naked bodies pressed flush against one another.

"Hello you." Emily whispers, smiling as she tilts her head back to look at Naomi.

"Hello." Naomi replies, kissing Emily's nose. "Wanna come to bed with me?"

"I'll have you know I don't put out that easily missy." Naomi giggles at Emily's fake outraged expression.

"Guess we'll just have to cuddle then."

Emily nods and soon after, they're both under the covers.

Instinctively, Emily scoots in the bed so that her back is flush against Naomi's chest, a role reversal of the bath earlier, and tangles their legs.

Naomi buries her nose in Emily's hair and wraps her arm around her waist, getting ready for their nightly routine.

"You're my lobster Ems." Naomi whispers in Emily's hair.

It's something they've been doing since Uni. They were separated, Emily in Bristol and Naomi in London, so they would call each other every night before they'd go to bed and always say the same thing. It helped them believe they were part of each other's daily life even though it wasn't exactly the case. Over the years, the tradition survived.

Naomi smiles because she knows exactly what Emily's answer will be.

"I know. I love you more than cheese Naoms."

Emily smiles because she also knows exactly what Naomi's answer will be.

"I know. I love you too."

They both sigh contently, closing their eyes. They might have problems right now, problems far from being solved but they also know that for them, some things will never change.

**There's obviously trouble in paradise for Naomily. Meh.**

**Reviews are like my very own Christmas lights so feel free to leave one!:)**


	3. Mistake

**Happy new year! Lots of love and health. You all deserve the best.**

**Thanks a lot for your kind words! It's not my intention to make you all sad but obviously, this fic is not going to be the happiest ever. (Although, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Just so you know.)**

**I don't own Skins. Nop.**

This morning when she wakes up, the space beside Emily is cold and empty.

Inevitably, it reminds her of these times in college when she would open her eyes happily, eager to find the familiar peroxide blonde hair next to her, only to be welcomed by its absence.

Emily sighs. She did the chasing back then. She's just not so sure if she'll be able to do it again if need be.

She wakes up Julia and Isabel, helping the last one to get dressed for school.

When she knows they'll be able to do the rest themselves, Emily heads downstairs to prepare breakfast.

On the kitchen table, she finds a note from Naomi.

Have a meeting at 8. Sorry. N.

No 'I love you', no 'x', nothing.

Emily crumples the note and throws it away in the garbage. There's no need to lose her time in self-pity. It wouldn't change anything.

After dropping the girls at school, Emily drives to Bristol University. It's where she has been teaching History of Art, with a major in Art of the 20th century, for the past nine years.

She loves her job. Students are stimulating and she feels unbelievably lucky to be able to talk about her passion over and over again.

When Emily arrives in front of her office, there's a tall girl with brown hair standing there, a pile of books in her hands.

Emily knows her; she's a student in one of her classes. Mandy, she thinks, or something like that.

Emily's well aware of the flirtatious looks and seemingly innocent touches Mandy has been giving her all semester long. Of course, she's not interested. It just feels good to feel wanted. To feel she hasn't just become a wife and a mother; that she's still a woman.

"Good morning Miss Fitch!" The girl immediately says when she sees Emily, a bright smile on her face.

Emily takes her office keys out of her bag, returning Mandy's smile.

"Good morning." Emily gestures for Mandy to follow her in her office. "And you can call me Emily."

Mandy nods, smiling again. She looks around, obviously inspecting Emily's office. Her eyes fall on a picture on Emily's desk of her and Naomi during a trip they took in San Francisco a couple of years ago.

It was bloody cold on the Golden Bridge that morning, she remembers fondly, and on the picture, taken by another tourist they asked to, they're hugging tightly to keep each other warm, both laughing probably at something silly Naomi said.

Emily loves that picture. It reminds her of endless afternoons of sex in their hotel room, long walks hand in hand in San Francisco's streets, wonderful wine tasting in Napa Valley. (Even though Naomi doesn't know a thing about wine.)

Now, this picture somehow makes her sad.

"Is this your...wife?" Mandy asks tentatively, effectively snapping Emily out of her thoughts.

"Yes, it is." Emily answers automatically. She doesn't really like to talk about her personal life at school but Mandy took her off guard.

"She looks nice." Mandy says, putting the picture back into place. "Not as nice as you though, _Emily._"

Emily notices how Mandy puts an emphasis on her name and, despite herself, she feels a light blush creeping up her neck at the girl's forwardness.

She clears her throat awkwardly. Grabs a pen on her desk and starts to fidget with it.

"So, did you want to talk to me about something?" Emily asks, meeting Mandy's brown eyes.

"Actually, I was struggling with that assignment you gave us."

"The one about Warhol?"

"Exactly."

"What are you having difficulties with?" Emily asks gently, sitting on a chair and motioning for Mandy to do the same.

Emily spends an hour with Mandy, explaining her everything. Feels weird when she surprises Mandy's eyes on the small cleavage revealed by her white shirt.

Just as the office's door shuts behind Mandy, Emily's phone rings, slightly startling her.

"Hello?"

"Ems, it's me."

Emily smiles. She'd recognize Naomi's voice anywhere. "I know it's you twat. How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good." Emily goes to ask her about her day but Naomi cuts her. "Look, I have to be in court in fifteen minutes but I just wanted to let you know I'm taking you out for a fancy dinner tonight."

Emily smiles, biting her bottom lip. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously Ems." She can almost hear Naomi grinning. "Don't worry about the girls, mom will take care of them for the evening."

"Naoms, that sounds great."

She hears Naomi's muffled voice talking to someone in the background. "Shit, I have to go. I'll pick you up at six, okay? I suggest wearing a dress by the way."

"Perfect. Oh and Naoms?" She adds hurriedly, hoping Naomi hasn't hanged up yet. She hasn't.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"Me too Ems. See you later."

Emily sighs contently when she hangs up. It's been ages since Naomi and her went out for a dinner in town and she's glad to see Naomi's making efforts. Makes her feel like she's not the only one noticing how much they've been fighting lately.

The afternoon passes by in a blur. Emily gives two three hours classes back to back.

When she arrives home, she walks towards the front door with a light spring in her steps. Knows that tonight, she'll have Naomi all to herself. She'll make sure to make the most of it.

Emily pours herself a glass of wine and takes it upstairs in their bedroom. She still has forty-five minutes before Naomi gets here.

Standing in their walk-in, glass in hand, Emily wonders how she should dress to make sure Naomi will want to _undress_ her as much as possible.

Finally, she settles on a simple silky dress that reveals pretty much all her back without being distasteful. Knows too well how Naomi loves the hummingbird tattoo between her shoulder blades.

She puts on some light make-up along with the diamond earrings Naomi gave her on Valentine's Day three years ago. Shivers a bit and smiles when she remembers their incredible sex after that on the kitchen table because they had been unable to make it to their bedroom.

With one last satisfied look in the mirror, Emily makes her way back downstairs, stilettos hanging in her hands.

Humming to herself, she puts on her coat and her shoes, checking her lipstick once more.

Fifty minutes later, Naomi hasn't arrived yet.

At first, Emily worries. She can't help it; it's been the same since they first got together in college. Whenever Naomi's late, Emily imagines the worst scenarios in her head. The thought that something, anything, could have happened to Naomi makes it hard for her to even breathe.

She calls Naomi's cell phone, but gets her voicemail every time. Leaves countless messages.

She also calls Gina but she doesn't have any news from Naomi either. Gina comforts Emily, telling her she shouldn't worry. That Naomi will probably arrive any minute with a good explanation.

When it's been an hour and a half, Emily thinks about calling Naomi's office. Curses inwardly for not having thought about it earlier although she can't hardly blame herself; she probably called twice at Naomi's office in the last ten years. Usually uses her cell phone.

A female voice answers.

"Hi, Naomi Campbell's office."

"Hum, hi. Is, uh, is Naomi here?"

"Who's this?" The voice asks curtly. Emily hates being treated like a stranger when she's calling Naomi.

"It's Emily, her wife."

The voice softens a bit. "Well, Miss Campbell's in a meeting right now. Would like me to take a message?"

Emily feels her heart stopping at the words. Naomi's in a meeting? Remembers she's still on the phone and that the woman is waiting for her answer. "No, that's fine. Thank you."

She hangs up and stares blankly ahead for a minute.

Lets the anger increasingly take over her body before she's practically shaking from it on her chair, fists clenched, knuckles progressively turning white.

Emily can't even begin to believe Naomi's letting her down like that. They were supposed to go out, have a nice night together. Instead, she's at a meeting, a fucking meeting, and doesn't even have the fucking decency to give Emily a call.

"Fuck!" Emily shouts and it resonates loudly in the quiet house. "I can't fucking believe it, fucking hell!"

Emily takes off her shoes and coat, angrily throwing them on the floor. She feels suddenly ridiculous. She got all dressed-up and Naomi's not even fucking showing up.

Somehow, it feels like a betrayal to Emily.

Of course, Naomi would chose work over anything that has got to do with their relationship. That's typical fucking Campbell, Emily thinks whilst pouring herself another glass of wine in the dark kitchen.

She doesn't bother to call Naomi on her cell. Instead, she decides to wait for her to arrive. For the first time, she really _wants_ them to have a fight. Wants to shout at Naomi.

Emily sits on the couch in their living room, turning the television on. She watches it distractedly for over two hours before she feels her eyelids closing involuntarily.

She wakes up with a start an hour later when she hears the front door shutting and someone bustling in the hallway.

Emily gets up, anger invading her with even more intensity than before.

"Emily?" Emily hears Naomi shout her name in a tiny voice but doesn't bother to answer. Naomi will find her eventually. "Ems, where are you?"

When Naomi finally appears in the living room's doorframe, she looks so guilty that Emily feels almost like she should be hugging her. Almost. Instead, the anger she was feeling only seconds ago is replaced by tiredness. And Emily thinks that that might be even worst that anger.

"Ems, I'm so sorry, I-" Naomi starts softly whilst taking a few steps towards Emily.

"Save it Naomi." Emily's voice is cold, expressionless. She can see Naomi cringing a bit. "You could have at least called me."

Naomi takes another step. "I would have called you, of course I would have called you Ems, but I couldn't get out of the meeting- it was fucking crazy and-" Emily interrupts her again, shaking her head.

"I don't care about the fucking meeting. I'm going to bed." Emily replies, pushing past Naomi to go upstairs.

Naomi grabs her wrist but Emily forcefully takes it away.

"Ems... please..." Naomi's blue eyes are pleading, asking Emily to forgive her. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. I'm so sorry..."

Emily sighs sadly. "Whatever."

Turning around, she starts to climb the stairs and hears Naomi following her.

"I don't want you in my bed tonight Naomi." Emily says without looking back. Waits a few seconds before she hears Naomi retreating downstairs. Thinks she hears her whisper "I love you". Doesn't say it back.

Curled in a foetal position on her side of the bed, Emily allows herself to let out a few tears, unaware that downstairs, Naomi's doing the same thing.

The day ends just as it started. With a cold and empty space beside Emily.

**Gee. Even I find this depressing. **

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are whizzer cool.**


	4. Not a Love Song

**Wow. Totally flattered and excited by the incredible reviews I got for last chapter! Guys, I mean...wow, thanks a lot!:D**

**This one's kind of a filler to help the story progress a bit.**

**I don't own Skins. Crap.**

"Naoms, they'll be here any minute now!" Emily shouts from downstairs before Naomi hears her go back in the kitchen.

"I'm coming!" Naomi replies, putting on a random grey cardigan to complete her outfit. She gives herself a quick look in the mirror. Isn't surprised to find big dark circles under her blue eyes. Long working hours and the tension between her and Emily have been killing her.

It's been a week since her major fuck up with Emily. Knows "fuck up" is an awfully big euphemism. Also knows she has been feeling guilty to the point she lost sleep on several nights.

She stayed on the couch three days before Emily finally allowed her in their bed again. Since then, even though Naomi has been doing her best to show Emily how sorry she was- flowers, chocolates and millions of other little attentions like that- they have been sleeping on their respective side of the bed.

Far away from each other.

Actually, they haven't been touching each other all week long. Sighs loudly when she thinks back to the days when she couldn't take her hands off Emily. Literally. Naomi just _had_ to have some form of contact with the redhead.

Today, they just spent a week without a kiss. Or without even holding hands.

When Naomi arrives in the kitchen, she tries to push those thoughts away in the back of her mind. Finds it hard because the back of her mind is already full of things she'd rather not think about.

Naomi can hear Julia and Isabel playing in the living room. Isabel's babbling about something whilst her sister's presumably watching cartoons on the television.

Emily's back is turned on Naomi. She's chopping vegetables and Naomi can't help but smile softly at the sight as she leans against the doorframe. Loves to see Emily doing something so trivial and domestic. It oddly reassures her. She has no idea about what though.

Naomi watches Emily for a while. Would like to kiss the base of her neck, beautifully revealed by her high ponytail. Knows too well she hasn't been granted the permission back yet. Curses herself for losing it in the first place.

The doorbell rings, slightly startling Naomi.

"I got it!" She turns on her heels and walks towards the front door, a smile playing on her lips. It's been a while since they had dinner with Effy and Katie.

"Hey lezza!" Katie gives Naomi two quick kisses on the cheeks before handing her a bottle of wine.

Naomi smiles. Katie never stopped calling her "lezza" even though technically, for the past five years, she has been herself as gay as a window. Naomi doesn't mind though. Now, it's more of a friendly nickname than anything else.

"Hi Katie. How are you?"

"I'm good. Well, one of my clients's being a horrible fucking bitch but other than that, I'm fine." She puffs out some air in a dramatic gesture, typical Katie. "Where's Em?"

Naomi gestures in the general direction behind her. "Still in the kitchen."

Katie nods with a grin and leaves, the sound of her heels resonating loudly in the hallway.

When Naomi meets Effy' piercing blue eyes, she instantly knows the girl can feel something's wrong. Katie would never notice. Not that she's still as self-absorbed as she was in college. She's just the type of person who'll never notice something unless you put right in front of her face. That's probably why it took her three years to realize she was in love with Effy.

"You look like shit." Effy states bluntly, taking off her coat.

"I know. Thanks a lot."

"Work?"

"Yep." Naomi looks to the floor then back at Effy. Unsure if she should talk about her and Emily. Feels as if she voices it out loud, voices the fact that they have _problems_, it'll suddenly make them all too real. Instead, she settles on a neutral reply. "Yep. Amongst other things."

Effy furrows her eyebrows sceptically. "Ok..."

"Do you want a beer?" Naomi asks awkwardly after a minute of uncomfortable silence under Effy's scrutinizing gaze.

"Sure."

Naomi starts to make her way towards the kitchen and hears Effy following her.

Just as she's about to enter the kitchen, Naomi feels a hand on her shoulder. Stops but doesn't turn to look at Effy.

"If you need to talk, I'm here Naoms."

Naomi shakes her head and sighs loudly. "I know, Eff, I know. Just...not right now, ok?"

Effy gives a light squeeze to her shoulder before letting go of it. Naomi knows Effy's trying to show her she's there to help if need be. Truly appreciates the gesture but feels, no, actually _hopes_ Emily and her will be able to solve whatever's going on between them on their own.

The dinner goes by without any particular incidents.

For once, Naomi's grateful for Katie's big mouth. Makes it look like the conversation's flowing. It's not really the case though. Emily and Naomi haven't exchanged more than twenty words since the beginning of the night. Effy keeps looking at them.

It's not that they're being openly mad at each other. No. But Naomi knows they're not being their usual selves either. Emily's clearly not happy with her and although she just wants to hold her hand under the table to let her know, once again, that she's sorry, she doesn't dare to. Briefly wonders when she became afraid of Emily's reactions.

Snaps out of her thoughts when Katie squeals excitedly, looking at the refrigerator.

"On my God, did my amazing goddaughter draw this?" Emily and Naomi turn around at the same time to look behind them. On the fridge, hold by a United Kingdom's flag magnet, is a drawing. Naomi doesn't remember seeing it before.

Naomi gives Emily a questioning look. Usually, Emily always shows her what the girls did at school.

Emily ignores her and turns her attention back to Katie, a smile on her face. Naomi can't help to notice it's fake.

"Yes, Isabel did it Wednesday at school and the teacher said it was the best one of the class." Effy and Katie smile back, proud looks plastered on their faces.

"You didn't tell me about that." Naomi locks eyes with Emily. Fails to hide the faint reproach in her voice. Knows deep down it doesn't really matter but for some reason, she wants to confront Emily.

"Well, how could I?" Emily takes a sip of her wine, shrugging.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It just means that if you were home sometimes, I'd tell you these kinds of things. But you're not. So I don't." Emily's tone is harsh, her big brown eyes cold. It hits Naomi hard. Leaves her completely speechless in fact.

After a moment, Effy clears her throat.

Naomi almost forgot Katie and Effy. Hates that they saw her and Emily fight. Always thought it was the kind of stuff you do in private, behind closed doors. Feels self-conscious under their gazes.

Katie bites her lip, looking uncomfortable. Naomi can see her exchange quick glances with Emily.

"So... what do you think of the wine we brought?"

Everybody jumps on the new topic, eager to escape the suffocating atmosphere now filling the kitchen.

Naomi keeps looking furtively at Emily throughout the rest of the dinner. Emily never looks back and instead, keeps acting as if nothing happened. As if they're perfectly fine.

When they're almost done with dessert, Effy clears her throat again. She puts her hand on Katie's.

"Guys, we have some pretty fucking big news for-"

"We're getting married in three months!" Katie nearly shouts, voice a couple of octaves higher than usual.

Naomi's eyes widen. Beside her, she hears Emily gasps loudly.

"Thanks for ruining my punch line Kay." Effy mutters grumpily. Naomi doesn't miss the playful twinkle in her eyes though.

"Sorry hun." Katie gives her a peck on the lips, batting her eyelashes. For being the victim of Emily's own eyelashes batting for eighteen years now, Naomi knows there's no way in hell to resist it. Indeed, a few seconds later, Effy gives in.

Emily jumps out of her seat to engulf Katie and Effy in a hug.

"I'm so happy for you! This is great! Congratulations sis'." She whispers the last one in Katie's ear before kissing her on the cheek.

Naomi realizes she has to say something too.

"Fuck, wow... I- That's amazing you guys! Congrats!"

Gets up and hugs them too. She's truly glad for them. They both deserve to be happy after everything they've been through.

After the big announcement, Emily brings another bottle of wine at the table. By the end of the night, the four of them are pretty tipsy.

Naomi giggles loudly as she watches Katie nearly fall on the floor.

Emily nudges her in the ribs, giggling herself. "Shut up. You'll wake the girls up."

"Yeah, stop laughing at me Campbell!"

Effy helps Katie put her coat on before putting her own.

"I called the taxi ten minutes ago. He should be here soon." Emily whispers to Effy before hugging her briefly. "Thanks for coming. And congratulations again! Don't hurt my sister though. I'm watching you."

Effy smiles. "Got it. Thanks for having us, it was great."

They all say their goodbyes, Effy giving Naomi a pointed look before she's out the door.

When they go back in the kitchen, Naomi sighs when she notices how much of a mess it is. Behind her, Emily's chuckling to herself. Naomi realizes how drunk they both are. Also realizes they're not in the state to clean anything up tonight.

When she turns around, Naomi looks at Emily. Bites her bottom lip. Can't remember the last time they drank that much. Just knows Emily's incredibly cute when she's drunk.

"Let's go to bed Emily. We can clean this tomorrow morning."

Emily nods and grabs Naomi's hand, swinging them as they climb the stairs. It makes Naomi feel incredibly warm. Knows that Emily's just momentarily not mad at her because she had too much to drink. Doesn't care for now.

That night, Emily and Naomi make love. Or fuck, Naomi's not sure. It's soft and tender but at the same time, it's rushed, urgent.

She just knows that she shivers when Emily kisses her deeply, lowering her on the bed. Knows she has been waiting for Emily to touch her all week long.

Knows her moan is indecently loud when Emily enters her with two fingers.

Knows Emily's breathing's raged as she hovers over her, pumping forcefully in and out of her.

And knows she comes whilst looking into Emily's brown eyes.

When Naomi's back from her high, she finds Emily looking at her, an odd expression on her face. As if she's seeing Naomi for the very first time since they made their way to the bedroom.

Naomi goes to say something, but Emily gives her a sad smile. Gets up and heads towards the bathroom before she shuts the door behind her.

Naomi feels like someone dropped a bucket full of icy cold water on her whole body.

Feels almost like crying when she realizes it's been an eternity since her and Emily made love out of pure lust. For the past few months, it has usually been triggered by other emotions. Usually negative ones.

Tonight, they made love, or fucked, Naomi's not sure, out of pure alcohol intoxication. It's wrong.

Hears the shower starts in the bathroom.

Knowing that Emily feels the need to take a shower after touching her makes Naomi feels dirty. Ashamed. Truly hates the feeling.

Emily's hands used to make her feel special, wanted.

Tonight, they were stranger's hands.

She gets up and takes off her cardigan. Realizes Emily didn't take time to rid her of her clothes. Only the top button of her jeans is open.

Noticing it, Naomi finally decides they fucked.

When Emily comes back to bed, Naomi's already under the covers.

Naomi can make out her silhouette in the dark. Sees she's wearing a baggy t-shirt, her damp hair falling around her face. Watches as Emily puts some lipstick on. Her lips are always dried.

Watching this innocent habit, Naomi realizes it. Despite all the shit between them, all the lack of understanding in their relationship at the moment, she's still madly in love with her Emily.

Naomi will try her very best to make sure they go back to making love.

**I'm not entirely satisfied with this one. Hope it was somehow enjoyable!**

**Review if you want, it's always nice. (And you're nice, am I right?)**


	5. Back in Your Head

**Thanks for reading and reviewing, it's lovely!**

**I don't own Skins**

Emily opens her eyes sleepily, smiling when she realizes it's Sunday and that she doesn't have to go to work. Mostly smiling though because Naomi's sitting next to her in bed. It's the first time in three weeks that Emily wakes up with her wife still there.

Naomi hasn't noticed Emily's up yet so, for a moment, Emily lets herself watch the blonde.

She's reading a thick file, her glasses on, a couple of pillows propped up behind her back. Emily loves when Naomi wears her glasses. Naomi freaked out when the optometrist told her she was going to need some, arguing she wasn't "some old bin already", but Emily convinced her they made her look sexy.

Emily lowers her eyes to her wife's neck. Another thing Emily likes is to kiss the multiple beauty spots she finds there. She practically knows them by heart now. Emily particularly likes it when, like this morning, Naomi wears her hair in a messy bun because then it reveals them all.

Finally, Emily smiles to herself when she sees Naomi has her old oversized Goldsmith's t-shirt on. It makes her look somehow younger. She remembers the times when she would surprise Naomi at her apartment in London and take this very shirt off her slim body.

Emily knows by the blindingly obvious way in which she's still so enthralled with everything that _is _Naomi that she still loves her. She's still _in love_ with her, even after all those years. Always have. But they've been fighting like never before lately and it scares her because it somehow makes her doubt about her and Naomi, something she has never done before. Not even when Naomi was running from her in college, not even during the whole Sophia fuck-up.

"Hey you." Naomi whispers softly, finally noticing Emily's brown eyes staring at her. Emily snaps out of her thoughts. Meets the blue eyes of Naomi. Smiles.

"Morning." Emily's voice is husky, still thick with sleep.

Naomi takes off her glasses and puts them on her nightstand along with the file she was reading. Crawls back into bed with Emily until they're facing each other, both of their heads on Emily's pillow.

"Did I wake you up?" Naomi asks tentatively. Emily's well aware her wife has been tiptoeing around her since that disastrous dinner. Or more like absence of. Hates that Naomi feels uncomfortable around her.

Emily smiles as reassuringly as she can before lightly running a finger down Naomi's nose. "No you didn't."

"Great."

"I love to watch you work."

"I know. You always did." Naomi's lips twitch into a smile. "I can't help but wonder why though."

Emily finds Naomi's hand under the covers and intertwines their fingers together. Feels a bit sad when she realizes she can't even remember the last time they've been so relaxed around each other.

"What do you want to do today?"

Naomi shrugs. Knows she should be working but doesn't want to ruin the truce she seems to be having with Emily at the moment. She's well aware they've been like a ticking bomb lately; dangerously fragile.

"I don't know. We could eat pancakes and go to the park with the girls. I feel like it's been forever since we did something only the four of us."

Emily nods and kisses Naomi's hand. She's glad to see Naomi's taking time for them. "Sounds lovely to me."

"No. You're lovely Ems." Naomi replies cheekily, her eyes giving away just how much she means it though. It makes Emily blush faintly. She has been feeling pretty unattractive lately. Feeling like Naomi didn't find her as pretty as she used to.

Emily leans in to softly kiss Naomi, both of their eyes fluttering close.

"You are too." She whispers against Naomi's lips before she feels her smile into the kiss.

"Mum! Mummy!" It's the moment Julia and Isabel choose to jump on their bed, shouting. "We want Campbell pancakes! Please?" Julia adds, pouting for good measure.

Naomi giggles, turning her head to look at her daughters. Making sure to keep one of her hands on Emily's cheek.

"Good morning to you too young ladies. As always, impeccable timing."

Isabel snuggles between the two of them and smiles lazily when Emily starts to run a hand through her thin brown hair.

"Do you want pancakes too?" Emily asks softly, smiling when Isabel nods eagerly.

Emily catches Naomi's eyes over their daughter's shoulder. Naomi winks before getting up only to pick Isabel and throw her over her shoulder, making the little girl giggle in pure glee.

"l was going to have you for breakfast," Naomi growls in a low voice, clearly attempting to be scary, and Emily can't help but laugh along with her daughters at Naomi's silliness, "but I think pancakes sound much better, don't you agree?"

Isabel nods furiously, smiling brightly as she tries to wriggle out of Naomi's grip. Julia grabs Naomi's free hand and they all start to make their way down the stairs, Emily following behind. She feels unbelievably happy to see her family like that. Feels like all the things that matter to her the most are currently chuckling in front of her.

This morning, they are making the famous Campbell's pancakes.

It's funny really Emily thinks whilst sipping her coffee, watching Naomi cook, how even today, she doesn't even know the recipe to those pancakes.

Naomi used to make them for breakfast all those years ago, when they would emerge from her bedroom at noon, their hair all messy after a night of earth shattering sex. Gina would greet them with a knowing smirk or a cheeky comment, effectively bringing a blush to the redhead's cheeks. Naomi would then grab her hand and bring her to the kitchen to make them both breakfast.

"What are you thinking about?" Naomi asks, waving her spatula in Emily's direction.

Emily looks up from her coffee. Smiles when she notices a bit of flour on Naomi's forehead. Loves how adorably messy she can be.

"How you won't tell me the recipe to those mighty pancakes!"

Naomi giggles, rolling her eyes. "You're going to ask me again, are you? This is a Campbell's secret Emily, you should know that by now."

"Well, I'm practically a Campbell now..." Emily pouts, walking across the kitchen to stand in front of her wife. "After twenty-two years, you can surely tell me?"

"Nop." Naomi replies, popping the "p".

They stare at each other for a moment, relishing in that feeling of safety they always get from one another. They always feel like home.

Emily brings her hand up. Brushes the fringe away from Naomi's eyes whilst wiping the flour away with her thumb.

"I love you." Naomi whispers. Emily's heart flutters.

She nods. "I know."

"Don't forget it though..."

"I won't Nai."

"Good."

Once more, they're interrupted by two tiny bouncy figures entering the kitchen.

"Are the pancakes ready yet?" Julia asks, sitting at her usual place and grabbing her fork as she gives Naomi an expectant look. "I'm bloody starving."

Emily clears her throat. "Julia, language please!"

Julia gives her a sheepish look. "Where did you hear that?" Emily asks, hands on her hips.

"Aunty Katie said that last week. And then aunty Effy slapped her and said she was a naughty girl for saying that in front of me... And then, aunty Katie said something about aunty Effy liking it when she was naughty and then..."

"Ok, I think I've heard enough, thanks Julia!" Emily cuts her hastily. Glares at Naomi when she hears her chuckle but finds her lips twitching upwards too.

"You can sit girls, breakfast will be ready in a minute." Emily adds. Makes her way to the cupboard to grab some plates and cups.

"Katie's unbelievable." She mutters. Naomi laughs. Plants a kiss on the top of Emily's head as she puts the pancakes in the plates.

"Come on, it's kind of funny, no?"

Emily looks up and meets Naomi's shiny blue eyes. _What's funny is how you keep making me feel like that day after day Naomi Campbell._

"I guess so..." Emily mumbles grumpily instead. Naomi bumps their shoulders together, perfectly knowing the brunette's not really mad.

"Pancakes!" The girls shout when they see the plates approaching.

"Did you put chocolate chips in them?" Julia asks eagerly, licking her lips in anticipation.

"Loads of _bloody_ chocolate chips indeed!" Naomi answers, grinning widely. Throws a wink at Emily as the brunette sticks out her tongue, unable not to laugh along with Naomi. Emily loves how contagious Naomi's laugh is. When she laughs, like, properly laugh, the room seems to light up. Everything's brighter. Naomi makes everything brighter.

OOO

It's when they're both washing the dishes after breakfast, wrapped up in one those comfortable silences only possible when you share a special intimacy with someone, that Naomi's phone starts to ring.

Naomi can instantly feel Emily stiffens at her side. Work has now become a hostile territory between them, something they avoid to talk about at all costs. Although both perfectly knowing it won't make the problems disappear in the end.

Naomi wipes her hands on a towel. Averts Emily's eyes as she heads to her home office down the corridor.

When she comes back in the kitchen, Emily's leaning against the counter. Lose strands of brown hair falling across her face as she stares at the floor.

Naomi can't help but feel guilty. Would like to find the words to talk to Emily. To let her know she'll have more time for her eventually. But Naomi's never really been good with words; they scare her, always come out wrong, turn out to make more damages in the end.

It's when the familiar piano of a song they both loved back in college reaches their ears that they lock eyes, surprised. Momentarily forgetting about what was bothering them.

They both head to the living room to find Julia and Isabel happily dancing to the song.

"Where did you find that?" Naomi asks, grabbing the CD from the coffee table.

"Under the couch!" Isabel squeals excitedly. "There are hearts on it!" She adds, gesturing to the CD's cover.

Naomi smiles, putting the CD down. "Yes, there are hun."

Without thinking, just because she can, Naomi starts to dance with her daughters, memories of lazy afternoons in bed with Emily flooding back. Remnants of all the butterflies she felt then suddenly making her light and happy.

Naomi grabs Isabel's hands, giggling along with her as she makes her twirl.

Emily crosses her arms in front of her chest, watching, grinning too. Julia comes up to her and tugs at her arm. "Come on mum! Dance with us!"

Emily has always been an awkward dancer. "I don't know honey..."

"Emily, don't be so fudging boring! Tegan&Sara? Back in your head? You used to love that song!" Naomi's cheeks are already a bit red from all the dancing. "Come on, live a little Emzy!"

Emily nods, caving in when two pairs of brown eyes and a pair of disarmingly blue ones stare at her pleadingly.

Finally, dancing is not that bad and she finds herself laughing like she hasn't in a long time. It feels good.

Emily meets Naomi's eyes somewhere in the middle of the song. The blonde looks awfully cute with her now messy bun.

_I just want back in her head._

It surprises Emily how much those seven little words perfectly apply to their life at the moment. She just wants back in Naomi's head. That's where she belongs.

When the song ends, the four of them sit on the couch, panting but smiling.

Oddly enough though, despite the joyful atmosphere, despite the lovely morning they just shared, to Naomi and Emily, this only feels like the calm before the storm.

**Hope you enjoyed this slight ray of sun! Although, as one Emily Fitch once said, the sun won't shine forever.**** Thanks for reading!**


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